Striplv Magazine - The Sexiest Magazine on the Planet, Issue 0417

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Page 73 of 79

“THREESOME” Men: Me and you and a blonde named Fondue. Women: You and me and a baby make three. “COMPROMISE” Men: An amiable agreement whereby both parties unanimously decide just to let the woman have her way. If mama’s not happy… Women: A beautifully negotiated discussion of dreams, needs, and passions that is followed by an equally prosperous agreement between both parties. “I’M SORRY” Men: Okay, enough is enough; let’s get on with some make-up sex! Women: But you’re about to be sorrier. “WEDDING VOWS” Men: Repeat everything the guy in the funny hat just said. Women: Thirty seconds of the most intense vocalization of life and love between two lovers, matched by only that of the poetic conversations between Romeo and Juliet. “DOES THIS MAKE MY ASS LOOK BIG?” Men: Ugly day? Honey, if you hear these words out of me, I must be as gay as Lance Bass and a green tutu on Saint Patty’s Day! Women: Please shower me with compliments; I’m having an ugly day. “SIX INCHES” Men: Nine inches of fury. Women: Three inches—over in a hurry. “YES” Men: I have no idea what you just said, and I actually don’t care all that much. Women: Yes. Looking over these differences at a glance, I have to wonder to myself if perhaps we are not that different after all—then I removed my rose-colored glasses and put on my prescriptions. Men can easily evade much of these difficulties by nodding and saying, “Yes,” for most of their responses. This will inevitably lead to a stand-down every so often when the woman realizes that you were not listening, but this can also be easily negotiated with another properly timed, “Yes,” and a well-placed nod—And so the world turns; one misunderstood statement and calculated cover-up at a time!

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