Striplv Magazine - The Sexiest Magazine on the Planet, Issue 1017

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Page 57 of 79

DOING DAT THANG By Lainie Speiser At this writing, I have just completed promoting August Anal Awareness Month. It’s a real thing devoted to all things “in da butt,” as I call it after the late 80s hit, Da Butt, by E.U. I used August Anal Awareness Month to promote my clients who are anal experts such as my client Vicki Chase who has won many awards for her anal expertise. I also booked Dr. Andrew Kramer, a well-known urologist on “The SDR Show” who gave hosts Ralph Sutton and Big Jay Oakerson prostate exams. By the end of the month you’d think I’d have run this into the ground, but no, not at all, both men and women are endlessly fascinated by the inner workings of “da butt” and although Vicki Chase may have gotten bored of talking about it, not one radio show, podcast and website has. Anal is still one of the holy grails of sex. If you have met a woman who is not only open to it but very into it, I say keep her, she is a rosebud, literally. I’ve written six books and covered many sex topics, threesomes, role play, blowjobs. I’ve gone deep with them all, except for anal. My history with anal has been spotty; it’s never made it on my top 10 of sex moves, and I didn’t even try it until I was 32 years old. I had a boyfriend who didn’t understand how a woman with an apple butt like mine would not want to give anal sex a try. Our relationship wasn’t the best one. It started out well, but by the time he was putting pressure on me to submit to anal sex, it became more of a test of wills. We both worked for the same porn magazine: he was an editor, and he even wrote fictionalized erotica about what my first time having anal with him would be like. It involved a lot of lube and my fretting about the size of his penis going into my tight pink butthole. He did the same thing when he was pressuring me into being with another girl with him watching and jerking off. In fact, if I ever wanted to know what this particular boyfriend wanted from me, all I had to do was read the advance copy of Gallery Magazine’s erotic story section, and I was grateful that I kept this relationship a secret from the entire staff for this reason. I did eventually give in; I made a deal: I would have anal sex with him if he wore my black lace panties for an entire day. It was a sucker’s bet. Little did I know he enjoyed wearing my underwear and on a trip to upstate New York, I was slated to break my anal virginity. To prepare, I did what every girl should do: ask my gay male friends about it. My friend Paul, who was usually in the submissive role, told me he didn’t really indulge in anal sex that often unless the man was super hot and he was unbelievably turned on. My friend James, who was a top, had anal sex for the first time recently and said, “Bring some blow. It really helps open you up.” But I knew from experience that blow makes most men Mr. Softie, and I didn’t want to bring complications to this already tenuous situation. So, I smoked a bit of weed, had several cocktails, laid on my stomach and braced myself. What I felt was a slight, burning-stretching sensation and then pressure, the more he carefully pumped the more comfortable it got but make no mistake I was relieved when he came, and it was over. But this wasn’t the last of our anal experimenting. This guy, like most bullies, was a secret submissive and we explored a lot of ass play on him, which I was happy to do given the alternative. So, I learned how to work a prostate with my fingers, tongue and a strap-on. The latter was when I discovered how hard men really do work for us; it was exhausting, and again, I was relieved when he came, and it was over. But once he got a taste for ass play there was no turning back. He implemented it into everything we did when we 69’ed and when I was riding him on top, I had to do a reach around and get my fingers in there. To say I was a good sport didn’t even cover it, and when we inevitably had a nasty break up, I said, “Good luck finding a woman who’s open to strap on action.”

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